Sem six: Day one

Is it written somewhere in the cosmic plan of things that first days should always be crappy?

After five semesters it still amuses me that every single professor starts the class with ‘the rules and regulations of this college’. This includes:

1. The dress code. The main thing you should have in mind every morning as you get ready is that you MUST NOT attract a guy. By no chance must this ever happen or you will immediately be suspended for breaking college rules.

2. There should be no complaints about your class.This is a sub clause of rule #1. Because if you attract guys, you will be complained about.

3. Don’t talk in class. And don’t talk to guys. Ever.
(Yeah sure, and while we’re at it, we’ll also listen to the stuff you ‘teach’ us.)

4.We own you body and soul. Resistance is futile

5.Don’t change seats to sit with your friends. This is precisely what the college wants to avoid. Friendship and love will only distract you from the very important task of mugging up your textbooks and getting a university rank for the glory of the prestigious college.

6.Cover your observation. In fact, if you’re a ‘good’ student you’d cover all your notebooks as well and treat them with the all the reverence due to a work of art. Neatness more than actual matter, will get you that university rank.


After this, we have to listen to how lucky we are to be studying in such an amazingly awesome place. I’m sorry but are these people brain dead…?
Then they’ll dictate the syllabus. Hello, if we wanted the syllabus we’d go look in something called the syllabus book. This isn’t some place we come to everyday to practice our handwriting.
And yes, the always yawn inducing ‘How to present your answer paper’ talk. I didn’t even bother with this when I was in school, why the heck would I start now?

I know the truth however. These are all merely delay tactics because they haven’t prepared for the class. And because the lot of them got blasted at the last staff meeting for not churning out more university rankers and letting girls look attractive.

From being annoyed, I’ve progressed to being amused. You can’t hear rubbish like this year after year without a) killing someone or b) smirking sarcastically at the poor deluded souls who call themselves professors and deciding to become a stand up comedian.