Domestic violence and fighting back

It's an ugly truth that countless women in India live with everyday. It struck too close to home this time and I decided that I should write about it.

As many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the ages of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or coerced sex, according to the United Nation Population Fund report. Here's a link about Indian laws against domestic violence:

http://www.indiatogether.org/manushi/issue137/laws.htm

The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 can also be used against female members of a family, according to the Madras High Court Bench in Madurai. Also note that the complaint can be filed by someone other than the victim, like a relative.

It is sad that we still live in a society which makes these laws necessary. While some women come out with their stories and seek justice and a better life, many still believe in staying in a sinking marriage and suffer in silence, a state of affairs which must change.

While the reasons why you can't get out of a marriage may seem too huge to overcome, especially in India, it is nothing compared to the danger you're putting yourself in. If you think that your health, physical or mental, is being compromised in any way, get out. Fast. And don't even consider ending your life for what someone else has done to you. Suicide is the worst possible thing you can do in this situation. It solves nothing.

Know that it is neither shameful nor a mistake to walk out of a relationship in which you are being mistreated or abused, whether you are a man or a woman and remember the three A's that you should never put up with in any relationship:
Abuse,
Alcohol &
Addiction.






This graph shows the percentage of married women facing abuse in different states in India. As you can see, Tamil Nadu is somewhere near the top.

To change this, not only do we have to speak up and actively fight against it, but if you are a parent it is your duty to bring up your child with values of respect, equality and non-violence. Men and women are not born abusive. It is what they become. Make sure that your child will not grow up to be one.


I end this entry with a few helplines for women who are abused.

1.Snehdi
4, Ranganathan Street, T Nagar, Chennai (044) 2446293

2.The Banyan
6th Main Rd., Mogappair Eri Scheme, Chennai - 600 058 (044) 26530504 / 26530105

3.Women help Line - 1091

4.Child Line - 1098

5.Joint Action Council for Women - Chennai12, Rosary church road,
Mylapore, Chennai-600004
Phone no.: 91-44-24943827, 044-24990262

What's new? I say, what's not?

January's here, characteristically bringing the fog rolling in early in the mornings. It's really something to look out of the window of the bus and see nothing but a cloud of unyielding white all around you.

I've started reading The Fountainhead. To call it a good book is an understatement. It makes you look at yourself in a mirror, stripping you to nothing but what you do. It tells you that men aren't selfish but selfless because most of them have no sense of self.
It's also got the strangest antagonist I've come across: an intellectual, megalomaniac 'humanitarian' who cruelly destroys this sense of self by talking of selflessness and charity, by obliterating the truly good by glorifying the mediocre and the bad.

On a lighter note, I went to Blur, a gaming arcade in Sathyam today. It was awesome. It has three floors, each dedicated to different categories of gaming. The fourth floor is for the experienced gamers with definite gaming preferences, the fifth for wii lovers and the sixth is a typical arcade. I'm pretty much uninitiated in the joys of gaming, but from all the fun I had today, I can tell you it rocks.


Oh and by the way, say 'Happy birthday' to the Princess everyone! It was a little sad that the only part we played in her birthday was a conference call at midnight but I'm glad we had that at least. And it wasn't as if she was pining away for us, if the words 'blackjack' and 'poker' were anything to go by. Hey M, go easy on the gambling alright? Take pity on the poor souls whose fortunes you ruin.


I have a lot of movies to watch, plenty of books to read, a fun family, some extremely awesome friends, college work which might not actually bore me to death, MS-Word and good music. What more can I want? Or need.

Weird and wonderful

It’s been a strange week. I should be tired but I’m not. I should be scared but that hasn’t happened yet either. It’s a little out of character for me to be so optimistic. I wake up every morning, afraid that it will pass. I think back on when I didn’t feel this way and I don’t want to go back there. I’ve actually taken a couple of resolutions and surprisingly, I’m sticking to them.

Like I said, it’s been a strange week.

A New Year and a birthday later…

What beats lying under the stars on a full moon night, with people you enjoy being with, and talking about anything which comes to mind? Not a lot, really.

New Year started out with church. The sermon hasn’t changed so I can’t, in all honesty, say that I paid a lot of attention to it. The streets were quite busy at two in the morning which isn’t very surprising on New Year, I guess.

The real party started at around eight that night. And man, did we party.

It started out with a pizza and pasta dinner at Remy’s place, progressed to some fooling around with the camera and then we had a moonlit conversation about the kind of things which come out only when you're lying under the stars with your best friends.




At around 11:45, KD’s mom and dad took us out to Movenpick, an ice cream parlour in Nungambakkam, where KD’s dad managed to get us in before they closed and got us a cozy little room which was supposed to be the library. It even had a sign which declared in bold letters, ‘Sorry, section closed’. That was a hoot. So, we had ice cream and cut the cake at midnight. Twenty, at last.

We were pretty much high on the way to KD’s place. It was mostly spent in enlightening KD’s dad about Mocha (No uncle, we don’t think the place where you interviewed that guy was Mocha. We think you’d remember Mocha) and discussing what went wrong with a certain affair of the heart involving P. After we reached her place, KD’s elder bro accused us of making more noise than their two dogs and waking him up. He very nicely excluded me from the general accusation because it was my birthday, though. It warms my heart, N. Thank you.

‘Wake up, Sid’ is a really good movie, by the way. I couldn’t help liking it. Not your typical love story. It’s a story of growing up and change, which was very appropriate to the situation. That basically went on till 3 in the morning and then I crashed. My friends watched ‘What women want’ till five and still managed to get up at eight a.m. You know it’s the real thing when they do stuff like that for you.

At noon, we went to watch ‘3 idiots’. It was a funny movie. Clichéd, yes, but funny as hell in the parts where they weren’t crying or being philosophical. Actually, I thought it was funny when they cried too but that’s just me, I guess.

After the movie, we went to P’s place and then headed out to the beach where we ate a little of most of the things you can eat on the beach and talked about Charms’ and Kay’s trip to Punjab and Jaipur, lucky dogs.

Finally, I got back home and put away all the spoils of the day. I tell you, I cleaned up this time. Truly awesome gifts. I just want to say, you guys know me too well.

So that’s the story.
Frankly, this has been one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had because of every one of you who spent it with me and the effort you put in to make it as amazing as you could for me. And it was amazing, hands down.

And apart from my friends, my family totally rocks as well. How many people have an understanding family who doesn’t complain when you go out to spend your birthday with your friends, wearing a Linkin Park t-shirt and promising vaguely to be back ‘sometime the next day’? Thanks, mom.