I'm currently in an emotional rut where I want to do a lot of things, but I convince myself that it is too impractical, or even impossible. I'm having issues about my freedom and accountability in the world. I have never been allowed to make too many of my own decisions when I was a child and I suppose that just makes me want to do anything I want to now.
What's the problem then, you ask? My parents have successfully programmed recklessness out of my system. I'm not a risk taker. I weigh the consequences, I think up reasons about why I can't do things, I worry about what people will think (sometimes) and I limit my world within walls which I've put up myself.
If I do try to break out of the system, I'm immediately confronted with a perfectly good reason (like security. Girls apparently don't have much of this) why I'm crazy. So I clean my room, attempt a bit of light cooking, watch movies and live vicariously on the edge through books.
What's the problem then, you ask? My parents have successfully programmed recklessness out of my system. I'm not a risk taker. I weigh the consequences, I think up reasons about why I can't do things, I worry about what people will think (sometimes) and I limit my world within walls which I've put up myself.
If I do try to break out of the system, I'm immediately confronted with a perfectly good reason (like security. Girls apparently don't have much of this) why I'm crazy. So I clean my room, attempt a bit of light cooking, watch movies and live vicariously on the edge through books.
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