Why should we argue?

It isn't unusual for me to argue about religion, god or society with my parents, sisters, friends and acquaintances. Their views might be drastically different from mine. There are also some ideas that we agree on and others that we give in to because we realize that the other person has a point.

We do get emotional at times, when we're not just arguing about something abstract and some arguments do not have a clear winner. Despite all that, I enjoy these arguments because they're the best way to reason and to get a fresh perspective on ideas and issues.

However, there are people who cannot (or do not) want to argue reasonably. They have strong convictions but will not suffer anyone else to challenge these convictions, mostly because they know that their arguments stand on weak legs. I've come across quite a few people like that. I'll give you a couple of examples.



1. There was once a debate in class on the issue of vegetarianism. I'm a non-vegetarian myself and there were quite a few people speaking for and against it. The vegetarians emphasized the fact that animals do feel pain. At one point, a girl remarked that life is more important than god because it is tangible and should be respected. She felt that before we respect and worship various gods, we should be able to respect life.

At this point, a girl who was speaking for non vegetarianism immediately stood up, incensed, and began a heated tirade about how animals can never be more important than god. This turned the debate from the actual topic to another one which no one wanted to discuss in the first place.



2. There was pastor in the church I used to go to who was talking during the sermon about a young man who had approached him. He was an atheist and wanted to talk to him about religion and faith. By his own account, the young man had been polite and inoffensive, but after a while when the pastor realized that he could not satisfy the young man's questions, he became angry and told him that he had not come to him to believe but merely to argue.

He was saying this to us to show that faith and belief should not be questioned. I felt that this was wrong, even then. How could the young man believe if his questions weren't answered?



We are taught not to talk back, not to argue with older or wiser people and to take things on faith because 'we won't understand'. I'm not saying that we should be offensive or disrespectful to other beliefs and opinions, but don't we have the right to question?

And about the first example, even though I was on the same side as her, I felt that the second girl had ceded the argument by default to the other side merely because she flew into a passion and chose to avoid the subject at hand by picking at a comment and turning it into something else. Even if the argument had been about god in the first place, I didn't think that she had behaved very well. And that makes a huge difference in arguments.

 Be on your best behaviour, please.  

Birthday party ideas she'll love...

How many times have you been completely stumped about what to do for a friend on her birthday? It's happened to me too but it's easy to plan for girls if you know what they like. So here are a few things which I've known to be huge hits.

1. Sleepover!

If you are best friends and are comfortable with staying over at each other's places, this is both an affordable and fun alternative to going out. Make food together (this will be hilarious if no one knows how to cook), cut the birthday cake, light candles on the terrace after dark and stargaze, watch silly movies together and just talk till you fall asleep. Simple and amazingly awesome.

2. If you can drive, take a small road trip for the day, but plan out the places you'll be visiting in advance.


3. Catch a good movie together with lunch or dinner at a good restaurant.Preferably a comedy or something light, unless your friend is a movie buff.

4. Arrange a themed party or a night out where everyone gets dressed up. And take loads of pictures to commemorate it. :)


5. Go to the beach early in the morning to catch the sunrise.

6. Do fun activities together.

This depends on where you live and the kind of activities which are feasible. If you live in the city, you can go bowling together and play ping pong or pool. If you're also blessed with good weather, do something outdoorsy.

If it's a rainy day, pull out that pack of cards or your old scrabble board and play for small stakes or candy. (Hint: Let the birthday girl win. That will make her enjoy it more. :))


7.Be innovative and try out new things like:

*Painting your own collage on a big sheet or cloth like the one we did here.

* Use all your photos and make a movie or a PowerPoint presentation about all the fun times you've had together. I did this for a friend's birthday recently and everyone loved it!

* Light painting with a good camera and a dark room. I love this and I'm trying it out as soon as I can. :)

* Home videos of the party. You can even plan out a simple script and shoot a small video!

* Arrange a treasure hunt for the birthday girl with all the presents you've got her and leave cryptic hints.


I hope this post gave you a few ideas to get started on arranging your own birthday parties. Good Luck! :)

The things I've learnt in college.

I've been blogging for more than two years now and those of you who have been following it from the beginning or even started much later will know that I haven't exactly been very cheerful or happy about my college life. My college has excellent infrastructure, a lot of qualified professors and good food. On the downside, it's extremely restrictive, almost dictatorial and a pain in the you-know-where.

At the end of it all, I think about what I've gained and I see a couple of job offers and a mentality which can survive bureaucracy. I've been stripped of the naive idealism which characterized my school days. I now know that it is possible to know nothing and still get a masters degree and teach as a professor in a 'good' college like mine.

It is true that sucking up to the 'right' people will give you faster results than being sincere.

I've also realized that some of the worst people to be stuck with on an assignment or project are dominating, selfish or indifferent teammates.

I lost my faith in religion and I've learnt to mistrust people who use religion as a smokescreen.

I learnt the hard way that sometimes you don't get along with someone for a reason, and it's better to cut your losses than to make yourself miserable by holding on.

Also, following the crowd or giving in when your heart's not in it will never turn out to be better than if you'd listened to your own counsel, especially when the crowd isn't too wise to begin with.

I know that real friends and family are the only people who give a damn about you. And real friends are notoriously hard to find. Be friendly with everyone, but choose your friends with a lot of care.

Love isn't corny or lame when you're in love with the right person.

I've also been told by a lot of really smart people not to sweat the small stuff and experience everything I can.

And trust me, there's so much more to be learnt outside the classroom than in it.

My top ten authors

Though all of us pick out titles that we like, there are always a few authors whom we keep going back to. My favourite authors of all time are:

1. Enid Blyton

- Almost every book I've read and enjoyed as a child was written by Enid Blyton. Most notably, the Famous Five series, Mallory Towers and her short stories. I've never enjoyed any other author so much, maybe because the best time to read a book is when you're a child and have a limitless capacity to imagine.

2. J.K Rowling

- With her wildly famous Harry Potter series, she's one of my favourite authors. Enough has been said about this author, so I'll stop here. Her smaller ventures like Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, The Tales of Beedle the Bard and even the short prequel story she wrote for charity have made their mark. If she goes on to write anything else, I'll be one of the first to read it.

3. Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer

- Possibly the best regency romance writers of all time. Extremely witty, humourous and well-informed, both of them recreate an entire era in my mind every time I read one their novels. Austen is higher on my list when it comes to character sketches and language. Heyer ranks higher on humour, wit and a faithful description of the fashions, practices and popular vocabulary of that day and age.

4. P.G.Wodehouse

- The undisputed master of humour. Need I say more? Apart from his series featuring Bertram Wooster and the all-time favourite Jeeves, he's written several other novels which will leave you in stitches like Damsel in Distress, The Politeness of Princes and The Prince and Betty.

5. Ayn Rand

- Probably one of the few authors who have defined an entire philosophy of moral rectitude based on self-interest and rationalism. Her books like The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, Anthem and We The living expound her philosophy of objectivism. A definite must-read.

6. Agatha Christie

- My only forays into the world of mystery and murder were because of Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Hercule Poirot is still my favourite detective till date. I simply can't resist French detectives with egg-shaped heads.

7. Douglas Adams

- He writes the funniest and most deviously insightful science fiction novels. Take a trip to places you've never imagined with his hilariously flawed protagonists and discover the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

8. Susan Elizabeth Philips

- Perhaps not a classic, but her books are fun! She's my most favourite modern romance author. Her novels are a breath of fresh air in the world of romance which is dominated by overly simplistic plots, redundancy and an excess of sensibility or the complete lack of it. Rest assured, her novels are never boring or overly sentimental.

9. George Orwell

- Well known for his dystopic novels like 1984 and Animal Farm. Here's an interesting piece of trivia for you: the famous band Pink Floyd based one of their albums, Animals on George Orwell's Animal Farm. If you like George Orwell, also check out Aldous Huxley's Brave New World.

10. Somerset Maugham

- I've only read one of his books, but he's on my list nonetheless. Of Human Bondage was one of the moist poignantly realistic novels I've ever read. We walk through the life of Philip Carey (this book is said to be autobiographical)and watch as he faces being orphaned and ridiculed, dreams about what he wants to be in life, gets trapped in an obsessive passion for a woman and a brief stint of poverty.

Who are your favourite authors? I'd love to know.

Relationships

This is what my new blog is going to be all about. I've been thinking about blog content for quite a while now and I've realized that this might be my best bet. While I'm not exactly an expert on relationships, I do have plenty of ideas. And the best part is that relationships aren't just confined to a single area. Apart from the essentials of actually interacting with people, I could write about my favourite books, movies and even technology and science!How cool is that? :)

You're never too old to scrape your knees and wear dorky jeans.

I scraped my knees. There is, of course, an interesting story behind this but it will most probably make me look klutzy/girly so I will cease and desist. Let's just say that falling down like a five year old kid when you're twenty-one is not a very graceful affair. Now one of my favourite pairs of Levi's jeans has holes on both knees.

What do you think? Urban chic? 80's style diva? Or simply an invitation for my mother to darn the offending holes and make it instantly dorky?

I'm going with mom+instant dorkiness.

Why slam books tell you nothing worth knowing.

When I was in school, just before the end of 10th standard and 12th standard, there will be a sudden increase in slam book circulation. Classmates and juniors will ask you to write stuff in slam books.

Some of these books don't really need you to sit and wonder about what you'd write for a classmate you hardly spoke two words to. Instead, they ask you about important things like your name, contact information, your crush and your past life.
Oh, and your most wished for wish.

Combine this with cute teddy bear and Hello Kitty stickers, glitter pens and heart shaped emoticons and you have your typical high school girl's slam book.
Yes, I understand your pain.

Anyway, you'd think that when people are twenty-one and completing their college courses they'd be a bit more mature about this slam book business. I filled in a slam book for a batch mate today. The only good thing about it was that it was blank. It did not ask me for my most wished for wish. The rest was just pure Hello Kitty goodness.

And most of the entries said this:

"Dear ____, I can never forget that seminar you took in class."

"...I hope you remember me."

"Thanks for being my friend!"

"Keep in touch."

But what they meant was:

"I couldn't sleep and I wish I had."

"You're not exactly my friend or anything and we hardly talk now but hey, it could totally happen ten years down the line."

"Smiling at me during break that day in second year was the friendliest thing ever!"

"We'll gaze at our profile pictures in Facebook for a few moments whenever we happen to pop up on each others' pages."

Really, you don't need their e-mail addresses. That's why we have Facebook. So we can ignore people whilst knowing exactly what they're doing and how they look without having to take the trouble to mail them.

With close friends, I can understand the need to have a memory of what you did together or a simple message for you to remember them by. Do NOT thrust that notebook on every person you've smiled at and expect them to write about how close you weren't.

And please, for the love of everything good and decent, no Hello Kitty stickers!