Of things that are unlooked for and found/The farce called IPL

I intended this entry to be fun and frisky with humourous accounts of my attempts at cutlet-making, waiting in a hotel lobby for an hour for a table and other similar study holiday exploits. So you’ll have to forgive me for being a little non-frisky and telling you that I also spent some of the best moments of my life in an obscure little ice cream parlour, French loaf, Flower Drum and sneaking into schools.
Things are never going to be boring. I’ve discovered that not everything happens the way you think it will and sometimes, the way it works out is much better than the way you expected it to.


I’ve also spent a lot of my study time catching up on the nation’s doings in the newspapers. I am sick of seeing Sashi Tharoor, Lalit Modi and Sunanda Pushkar on the front page everyday. I mean really, do we have no better news to cover than IPL scandals and scams anymore?
I was surprised when the more important news of Sashi Tharoor stepping down as Minister for External affairs was not given as much space in the front page as details of the 70-crore ‘sweat equity’ and Tharoor’s alleged relationship with Pushkar.
IPL sucks. I don’t have anything against cricket as a sport but as a commercial money-maker and as an entity which holds the power to sway the politics of a nation through not very commendable means, I feel that the basic principles of sport itself have been tarnished.

Farewell 2010

First things first. The awards were rigged. All you heads of departments, shame on you!

Apart from the disgraceful favouritism rampant in the farce called Farewell Awards, I think it went pretty well. From the minute I got into the bus in the morning and till the moment I got out, I was pretty entertained. It started out with the cake cutting, the fake snow, the impromptu scream sessions and the jokes about leaving jail.
All the girls from each department wore matching saris and naturally had to take like, a million pictures of themselves in the mess hall, in front of the department, the bathroom, the auditorium...it’s a girl thing. The more formal and uncomfortable something is, the more pictures you need to take to commemorate it.

The guys were in really high spirits as well if the spontaneous fist fights and dancing were any indication of how happy they were to be leaving the place. And wearing traditional Tamil clothes didn’t stop them from throwing people in the air or mock beating up guys who won all the awards. It was fun to watch. One minute all of them have their arms around each others' shoulders and the next, after the winner is announced there is a collective gasp of ‘Machan! Neeya?!’ and the poor guy gets beat up by the entire department. Very entertaining stuff.


Some of the programs were really funny, I’ll give them that. It really did feel like a Farewell and in my college, that’s saying something. I’m just waiting for my own and wondering if I should turn up wearing a leather jacket and torn jeans when everyone else is in a pink sari. The idea is very appealing.

Playing hookie

I found this great site called Urban Dictionary. It defines hookie as:

A day in which liberty is taken upon oneself to exclude themselves from school or work obligations while, most likely, pretending to be sick or having a death in the family. Usually this time is spent with a significant other (i.e. hookie for nookie), a sports activity (i.e. golf or playstation), or just plain sitting on one's ass all day editing & writing definitions for modern slang words over the Internet. Commonly referred to as "playing hookie".

Guess what? Guilty! Okay, I am actually sick with a bad cough and everything. And I'm in dire need of inspiration after days of a sudden obsession with doing nothing useful whatsoever.

Believe me when I say I do not play hookie all the time. In fact, this is the first day I'm bunking this semester. Which should tell you what a complete nerd I am.
I was thinking (which is not a good sign generally, but sometimes I surprise myself) and the only phrase which kept popping into my head was, 'Dude, you need a break.'
So I decided to bunk college and instantly felt better than I had in a long time. It's like Prozac or something, I swear.

And here I am. I just caught a champagne supernova sunrise. You know, like the ones you always see in calenders with a huge beam of sunlight bursting out of a bunch of clouds and making interesting patterns in the sky, then you realise it's a Monday and you feel like ripping the calender. Only it's not and I feel like humming and being annoyingly cheerful.

Taking time off once in a while is great. I'm actually thinking about taking out my textbooks and ignoring them, that's how charged up I am. I love it!

Soft skills and a slow week.

It’s been a long week. Seriously, it feels like the week’s dragged on forever. Boy, am I glad tomorrow’s a Friday. And to make our days longer, we have placement training classes after college hours.
This isn’t as bad as you’d expect it to be. We just sit around and figure out a few aptitude questions except when people come and talk to us about soft skills. Now, this is hilarious.

They always start off with how important communication is. Then they ask us to define communication. You have to remember that there is no right answer to this question. So even the best answer you can think of will earn a ‘Good answer, but what I was looking for was...’ Usually what they are looking for is to look like they know what they’re talking about.



The last person who talked to us actually told us that efficiency is perception-based. As in, you don’t have to do much work. You just have to look like you do it, suck up to the boss and make sure you’re in his good books. Enlightening.

The body language talk is just as bad. I understand that we shouldn’t disgust the interviewer by wearing neon pink to the interview or slouch in our chairs in the hopes that we’ll disappear under the table, but to actually suggest that a little flirting will not go amiss is a little too much. What if my interviewer is a misogynist? Or a woman. Or a half-way decent human being? Didn’t think of that, did you Mr. Girls-have-an-advantage?

The other part of it is the group discussion or GD which apparently assesses how we work in a group. It’s better than the other two, because in this one we get to talk while they have to listen. These people however, have no concept of having a discussion about something which is interesting.

By the way, why is ‘love marriage vs.arranged marriage’ still such a popular topic in group discussions? I swear. There are like, a million other topics to choose from but no…they have to pick lousy stuff like this.
And it’s a big thing, mind you because my college is supposed to be strict and all. So the ‘love’ word is a big form of rebellion apparently. Only it falls totally flat because no one has anything of interest to say about it anyway.

The next one is ‘professionalism vs. family life’. Oh and ‘Do working women make bad mothers.’ Is this really the kind of stuff they’re going to ask us to discuss in an interview? Somehow, I’m very skeptical.

But some of these guys are good. For example, we had one dude come in today and talk to us about soft skills and he was pretty decent. He summed up his presentation with these seven points:

1. Find your passion
2. Dare to be different
3. Practice/ work towards it at every opportunity
4. If you feel like quitting – Don’t!
5. Never give excuses
6. Have fun – everyday
7. Be humble, be kind, be strong

I say, Amen.
This week wasn’t a complete waste of time, after all.

Sem six: Day one

Is it written somewhere in the cosmic plan of things that first days should always be crappy?

After five semesters it still amuses me that every single professor starts the class with ‘the rules and regulations of this college’. This includes:

1. The dress code. The main thing you should have in mind every morning as you get ready is that you MUST NOT attract a guy. By no chance must this ever happen or you will immediately be suspended for breaking college rules.

2. There should be no complaints about your class.This is a sub clause of rule #1. Because if you attract guys, you will be complained about.

3. Don’t talk in class. And don’t talk to guys. Ever.
(Yeah sure, and while we’re at it, we’ll also listen to the stuff you ‘teach’ us.)

4.We own you body and soul. Resistance is futile

5.Don’t change seats to sit with your friends. This is precisely what the college wants to avoid. Friendship and love will only distract you from the very important task of mugging up your textbooks and getting a university rank for the glory of the prestigious college.

6.Cover your observation. In fact, if you’re a ‘good’ student you’d cover all your notebooks as well and treat them with the all the reverence due to a work of art. Neatness more than actual matter, will get you that university rank.


After this, we have to listen to how lucky we are to be studying in such an amazingly awesome place. I’m sorry but are these people brain dead…?
Then they’ll dictate the syllabus. Hello, if we wanted the syllabus we’d go look in something called the syllabus book. This isn’t some place we come to everyday to practice our handwriting.
And yes, the always yawn inducing ‘How to present your answer paper’ talk. I didn’t even bother with this when I was in school, why the heck would I start now?

I know the truth however. These are all merely delay tactics because they haven’t prepared for the class. And because the lot of them got blasted at the last staff meeting for not churning out more university rankers and letting girls look attractive.

From being annoyed, I’ve progressed to being amused. You can’t hear rubbish like this year after year without a) killing someone or b) smirking sarcastically at the poor deluded souls who call themselves professors and deciding to become a stand up comedian.

This Christmas time...

The holiday season is here! The season of goodwill and joy and lots and lots of holidays! The weather is absolutely perfect too, as you will already know if you live in Chennai. Yes, life is worth living again.

Christmas is only a few weeks away and they're already singing carols in church, Sunday school kids are putting up Christmas plays and the Christmas tree is out. Of course, the sermons haven't changed.
'Don't concentrate on the shopping! Make Christ the center of this Christmas!'
A good sentiment. It's not about the shopping, people. It's about giving. Love, affection, time, effort, money...whatever it is, give and you will get it back one way or another. Besides, it's more fun than you realise.

Yeah, I wanted to tell you guys about the Christmas play. No matter how amateurish it is, it never fails to warm your heart when you see little kids dressed up as angels with wings, tiara et al. Probably the only time of the year when they seem angelic. Okay, okay! I'm kidding. I'm sure they have their moments.



The best part of 'The Fourth Wise Man' was the manger scene. I couldn't help stifling a laugh when the baby Jesus was peremptorily passed on to the little kid dressed up as Mary and the subsequent abandonment of the doll in the pulpit after its role was over.



It was cute. It was adorable. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Happy holidays everyone!

P.S: I know the pics are bad, so don't mind that. It was pretty dark in there and I had to mess around with it in picassa.

Ta da! Another sem is over. (Cue: Applause)

You know, it's weird. There's still an entire year of college left. Till 8th semester that is, when I will only have to show my face in college for two days a week. That's something to look forward to, at any rate.

In the more immediate future, guess who's all set to have fun. That's right. Moi. I'm going to spend ten glorious days having as much fun as I humanly can.

I have plenty of things to do. I might be doing my in-plant training these holidays and there's still the matter of turning twenty. So far, I've struck a couple of things off my list but there's still so much I want to do. It includes some impossibilities like going to a Linkin Park concert but there are other things which aren't so impossible. For example, I want to finish writing at least one entire book. Just a small one. I'm thinking of calling it 'Turning Twenty'. Yes, very original I know.



Christmas is less than a month away and I'm looking forward to it. There's something different about it this time. I can feel it already. I spent all of yesterday evening downloading carols and Pride and Prejudice(the movie). Now I can't stop humming 'God rest ye merry gentlemen'.

My room is crying out for attention and I will have to spend a considerable amount of time on that. I don't mind. I actually like cleaning my room. I never know what I'll discover. For example, today I found a whole bunch of friendship bands from way back when and I couldn't throw them out. I couldn't. I'll just find them a new home.

Life is looking good. I'm going to meet my friends, my family, I'm going to be doing things I love and blogging all about it in the most annoyingly comprehensive way. Have fun, folks. I know I will.

Rendezvous '09

That's what they called the reunion at school today. You know how you usually feel when you hear about reunions in school.
Your first thought will most probably be, 'Do I have to?'
Then you move on to 'No one I know is coming.'
After that you get to the 'Ok, I'll just look in for a few minutes and then scoot.'

Then you actually go there and it's like you never left.
The grounds, the trees, the sky, the basketball court, the buildings...every thing's so familiar it's like you were loitering around the school in the hopes of bunking class just yesterday.

The teachers remember you, they joke about what you did in their classes. You're hugging and exclaiming over people you generally ignored when you studied with them. Only, now they seem like a priceless link to the best days of your life. I know, it's a bit of an exaggeration. I always wanted to leave school when I was in it. It definitely didn't seem like the best days of my life then. But time has a funny way of erasing all the bad memories and leaving only the good. So even if it was crap sometimes, I don't remember it like that.





Anyway, coming back to the point from all that off-the-track rambling, you exchange phone numbers and take pictures. Most sounds uttered are high pitched squeals indicating another discovery of a long lost classmate. And it overwhelms you. I felt like it was the last place where I truly belonged. And the last place where I could make a fool of myself and laugh about it ten minutes later. And the last place where almost everyday was a bad hair day and I couldn't have cared less.

The school librarian remembers me. I know I went there every week to get a book, I know she stamped it out for me. She's even glared daggers at me for late returns. But still, I never expected her to remember me without the bad haircut and the pink uniform. I was seriously amazed that she did and that right there, was the best moment of my whole day.
Mrs.Pearl remembers me! Call me soft, but I still can't stop grinning like an idiot about it.

The festival of lights

I’ve successfully completed my practical exams without any bitter and traumatic experiences which sometimes accompany practical exams and now I have a cold. It’s a piece of luck really, that it didn’t hit till my last lab exam was safely out of the way.

I checked out Sparky’s yesterday. I liked the décor but the food is so-so and it is also kind of expensive. Anyway, the bottom line is, I won’t be going there again anytime soon. American cuisine is not my thing, I’ve discovered. I don’t think I’ll be having a lasting relationship with Sparky’s like I do with Creamy Inn and Cake Walk, alas. We shall both have to move on and mend our broken hearts as well as we can.

Anyway, about my cold, it’s a major pain in the you-know-where. I can’t remember the last time I had a cold. The feeling of misery, the throbbing headache, the runny nose, Waterbury's compound...colds are really not fun. Apparently there are 250 strains of cold viruses and the only way you can gain immunity to a strain is by catching it. So, the maximum number of times you can catch a cold in one lifetime is 250 times. Oh joy.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Today India celebrates Diwali, the festival of lights and also of noise and pollution apparently. But I enjoyed last night, even with a cold. Standing on your terrace, watching the fireworks and the stars, listening to your favourite music and blowing your nose is really not a bad way to spend a night.

Firework prices have gone up, not surprisingly, so this time people didn’t start with the heavy stuff till the evening before Diwali. I remember times when I wouldn’t venture out alone for a whole week. There is a plus side to inflation!

It's rainin' in Chennai!

Okay, I'm in a surprisingly good mood. Maybe it's because the weather's getting cooler. I can't wait for the monsoon to hit. My mind is suddenly swamped with all the things I can do in my study holidays (excluding study) and that's helping with the good mood too. Pity I have to do my sem pracs before that.

Hark! Was that thunder? Yes, it is! Rains have been lashing AP and Karnataka for days now and TN seemed to be having a dry spell. The rains are predicted to be heavier this year but I hope TN doesn't get hit with floods like her neighbours. I'm always for more rain but our drainage system and the agricultural areas can't take it. I'll always remember the storm which hit Chennai in 2005.
It was practically impossible to step into the streets for days on end but I loved it anyway because we had a week off school right during the exams. That's too much to hope for this time, but the rain is right on cue. The weather was getting way too hot. It's a welcome change.

Industrial visit to NLC

I never thought that Neyveli would be anything less than a disaster. I mean, here are the facts: Almost ten hours of travel, scorching hot weather and no information which could be related to my field at all (not something which was necessary for my enjoyment but only as a sop to my frustration that the day would not have been a complete waste of time if I could have only learnt something new).

Imagine my surprise when I actually enjoyed myself.
The bus journey was not half bad, really. I spent most of the time listening to Hindi songs on Sab’s mp3. I already have a couple of favourites now - Jaane kyun and Masakali. She was very bemused when I played these two over and over again.
The weather was mild early in the morning and we went past rustic little villages, paddy fields, haystacks…the whole deal. My classmates were all high but managed not to go completely berserk which was something else I was glad about. I’m all for fun, but incessant screaming and getting squashed into a human sandwich is not my idea of fun. Thankfully, it wasn’t theirs either for a change and everyone enjoyed themselves without getting too rowdy.

When we finally reached Neyveli, there was some tension because we had heard that electronic devices weren’t allowed and all of us had our cameras, cell phones and mp3 players with us. It was also a bother that we had to get down at each check post and wait out in the open under the hot sun and humid weather till the bus was given a green signal to continue after it was checked.

Despite all that, we really enjoyed seeing the site where lignite was mined from. A couple of men who worked in NLC also took the trouble to accompany us and explain how everything was done. That place was huge! I think he said that the site we saw was roughly 35 square kilometers in area and we had an aerial view of the whole site. Really awesome place.

I would have enjoyed it more if I (not very surprisingly) hadn’t stepped in the first puddle of mud we came across and spent ten minutes trying to get all that muck off my shoes. We piled into the bus again after taking a few snaps and they took us to see this monster of a machine which is used to mine the lignite.

My first view of the monstrosity which costs around 62 crores, was a gigantic metal disc with grooves like spikes which can dig up to a depth of 5 meters into the ground. I was very impressed. Then to our delight, they let us climb it. It was so cool! It would have easily been at least three to four stories high and we had nothing between our feet and the distant ground but a mesh which seemed too fragile to bear our combined weight despite assurances from the operators that it could easily bear more. The adrenaline rush made us forget the heat, all the grease and every other conceivable inconvenience. The weak hearted (and for once, I was not among them) waited on solid ground for the rest of us to come down.

Then we had lunch at the afforestation project area which was very picturesque and quite a bit cooler. The lunch was nothing to get excited about. I hadn’t really expected anything more than the lime rice and chips they gave us but we managed with the food some of the girls had brought from home in anticipation of just such an event. After lunch, girls being girls, just had to take a billion pictures and find the perfect pose for each and very one of them. Mad, but characteristic.


The journey back was more subdued for me but for some, the party was just getting started. A little childish but they seemed to enjoy it which is what an IV is all about, after all. I managed to get a little sleep in between and found the sky overcast when I woke up. All my hopes for a shower were fulfilled in a very enjoyable spell of rain. There’s nothing like watching rain in the countryside while listening to Linkin Park. The weather cooled down quite a bit after that.

To crown it all off, I managed to get back home at the very reasonable hour of eight in the evening by myself. At home, I watched Hancock. My advice to you is, don’t watch it. Even if it has Will Smith and Charlize Theron, do NOT watch it. If you already have, you have my condolences.

Today, my limbs are stiff and I’m feeling lazier than usual. It was worth it. Sometimes, things work out perfectly precisely because you don’t expect them to.

Weekends to live for

After an extreme case of writer’s block, I’m back with so much to write that I doubt I can make everything fit in one entry. First off, Charms’ birthday went great. Everyone who was crazy enough to get up at an insanely early hour totally loved it. We didn’t manage to catch a perfect sunrise but I loved the one that did put in an appearance. After all the craziness at the beach, we crashed at Remy’s place and cut the cake Princess baked. There are two things P can do amazingly well: scream and bake cakes. It’s a good combination. Then we had breakfast at the Murugan idly shop which is expensive but pretty good. It was a good way to spend a birthday.


(Fast forward to the next weekend. I mean, who cares what happens in between??!)

I took an off on Friday and spent my Independence Day in Bangalore. I don’t know about the nation but any day when I don’t feel the need to whine about my college is what independence is all about for me. And Bangalore was great. I haven’t had this much fun since…the last weekend. Only that lasted for like 3 hours while this lasted for three glorious days.
We visited the Lalbagh garden. There was a flower show going on. I’m more of a trees person myself so I wasn’t really too impressed with that but the trees there…wow. Pretty impressive. The technological museum rocked as well. My dad took around a thousand photos. I kid you not. So I’ll put up some of those in this entry.

Day two was almost entirely spent shopping. I tell you, I made a killing. I’m not one to freak out shopping but I totally lost it this time. What can I say? The temptation was too great for a mere mortal. Talking about my excesses, I ate way too much. In the three days I spent there, I ate out three times. Nagarjuna was okay but I loved Balal. Empire had a lot of mid-eastern food which I’m not very partial to. At home, everyone basically stuffed me as much they possibly could. I can’t remember the last time I ate so much. Thank God my new jeans still fit.

We also saw the Parliament house, the High court, the musical fountain show and we even went up to the 23rd floor of the utility building to get an aerial view of Bangalore. Apart from the amazing weather, I also liked the fact that people just dress better there. And they have this thing with sneakers. A lot of guys wear sneakers. My most recent muse is a converse. The chances of moi getting anything in the next six months to one year however are extremely minute so it’ll have to remain a muse for a while longer.

We also attended (I use the term loosely) some pre-reception thing of one of my dad’s colleague's nieces. Nothing great about that. Except that she’s marrying a French guy.
Cool.
However, the minute they asked me to go and sit down to what looked like a full out mehendi session for all the girls (and even the guys. French guys. Someone should have told them that that stuff is for girls.) I knew I had to get out of there. French or not, no one’s going to make me sit around with a bunch of girls (and guys) waiting for stuff on their hands to dry.

Of course, what really made it great was the company. Aunty G is a retired English teacher who stumbles on old students everywhere from ticket reservation counters to Levi show rooms. Uncle loves to make miniature boat models. And they have a cute daschund called Terry. Everyone else was a lot of fun as well. I was never more in charity with all my relatives. They’re cool people really, when they’re not forcing me to attend weddings and wear salwars.

I warned you it was going to be a long entry. Now that it’s over, I have a perfectly mundane week to look forward to. It’s raining out though. That makes a big difference.

Feedback

I am not alone in thinking the PQT prof stinks. I do believe words like 'vetti scene', 'bandha' and 'mokkai' featured in the very colourful feedback said professor has received.(The truth is fun sometimes.)
I also have reason to suspect his colleagues are laughing their backsides off discreetly. After all, when has feedback about staff ever been a private matter?

It's that time of the sem again...

Internal exams…it’s nostalgic how I actually used to study for these a year back. Now, I prefer this one week of college to normal working days because I'll take three hours of writing an exam to seven hours of boredom in my college anyday.
This is how internals usually work:

One week to go:

Oh damn, the ints are starting in a week and they are not even close to finishing the stupid portions yet. We’re going to flunk.


Four days to go:

Wait, we have HOW much?


Three days to go (generally a Friday):

Students: “Sir, important questions!”
Professor: “Everything is important.” (Smiles cryptically)
Students: (groan, lament, curse the professor…)


Two days to go:

Forwarded message: “Guys, question paper’s out! These are the important questions…”


9 pm, previous night:

Class/batch mate: “Oh my God, completed anything?”
Moi: “HA HA. Are you trying to be funny…?”


After the exam:

It’s official. We’re going to flunk.


And yet, I’ve never actually flunked in my internals so far. I think it has something to do with that dreaded torture called coaching class. Professors generally want to pass as many of us as they can so they don’t have to put up with us after college.

Stay an extra hour and a half in this place everyday?? I'm sorry but give me liberty or give me death.